


The EFAP Fanfic

by UglyTurnip



Category: EFAP, Garfield - All Media Types, Real Person Fiction, Youtuber RPF
Genre: Every Frame A Pause, Gen, Jared is God, Movie: Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Plotholes, YouTube, crackfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-06 03:09:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17337458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UglyTurnip/pseuds/UglyTurnip
Summary: The EFAP crew face their biggest challenge yet- the N word.





	The EFAP Fanfic

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mauler](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Mauler).



One fine January day, Mauler, Wolf, and Rags were sitting in the Valentine saloon, helping themselves to bottle after bottle of precious rhino milk. They were EFAPping intensely to another Last Jedi defense, much to the saloon’s joy. All was right with the world.

Suddenly, a naughty cowboy by the name Quinton Reviews entered the saloon. He took one look at the EFAP gang and frowned.

“I fucking hate Trump.”

With a sigh, Mauler set his drink down and shot Quinton a powerfully angry glare. He may have just been a skull on wheels, but he wanted more than anything to leave tire tracks all over a bitch.

But Wolf was the one that ultimately spoke. “Quinton, it is my subjective opinion that you are a massive faggot.”

Rags laughed, slurred some incomprehensible sentence, and then proceeded to pee all over Quinton’s shoes. Bad dog! But Quinton deserved it.

Mauler rose from his chair and began to crack his knuckles. How does a skull on wheels have knuckles? Silly reader, plotholes don’t actually matter.

“Fuck you, Quinton,” Mauler declared calmly. “Brush your goddamn teeth.”

“Not if I have anything to say about it, and I do!” declared a voice from outside. The saloon doors swung open, and in stepped one of EFAP’s mightiest foes in my subjective opinion: Muscular Garfield.

“EFAP! Your days are numbered!” warned the well-sculpted feline. “I’m gonna say the N word!”

Rags dropped his shot glass in shock. “That’s racist, you can’t say the N word! That’s a wordy-dirty!”

“I don’t care!"

A word that may or may not have been the N word echoed throughout the saloon. The raw power of the N word shot towards them like a ship hyperdriving into several other ships. Wolf and Mauler flinched, while Rags just passed out. Was this the end of the EFAP crew!?

Not quite, for the destruction never came. Wolf was the first to open his eyes, discovering that Jared Genesis was standing between them and the power of the N word. He was absorbing the full force of the attack, but it only made him more powerful. What a nice subversion of my expectations.

He turned back to the EFAP crew and gave them a wink. “But anyways, guys, go get ‘em.”

Mauler didn’t have to be told twice. He tore off his shirt, revealing a massively muscular body, and proceeded to knock the fuck out of Quinton. Poor lad didn’t even see it coming. Muscular Garfield tried to run away, but in that moment, Mauler discovered the biggest plot hole of the entire universe:

“Wait, Garfield! Why do you even hate Monday? You don’t even work!”

Muscular Garfield tried his best to answer, but he was so stumped that his head exploded. Peace returned to the saloon once more, and Jared, Mauler, and Wolf took their seats at the bar.

“Waiter!” Wolf called. “A glass of your finest rhino milk for my special boy!”

He was referring to Jared, but Genesis only laughed. “Nonsense. But anyways guys, this next round is on me.”

With that profound statement, Jared began to pour milk straight out of his mantitties. Wolf’s eyes widened, and his mouth began to water.

“N-n-no way! Is that. . . Is that the legendary Jared milk!?”

“Perhaps the myths are true,” Mauler mused.

Jared only grinned. Soon, the entire bar gots the swagger, and a happy ending was had by all. Except Quinton. Fuck you, Quinton.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I love you Jared please have my children.


End file.
